We have all heard the phrase “happy wife, happy Life” and, of course, as women we LOVE to hear it—I know I do.
My husband says this all the time and I see him really go above and beyond at wanting to make sure I am happy and my needs are met. The reason is because I give it to him first. We know that motherhood can literally take all of our time. It can even push us emotionally both when we are having ups and downs with raising our children. More so, these things take a physical toll on us as well. So when it comes to our marriages, it’s easy to see that the focus on relationships can take a back seat if you let it.
The first thing that I do is remind myself that there will always be a certain amount of chaos when it comes to raising children. The joys, happiness, and love are unparalleled but if we are being honest, it’s hard work and it doesn’t always go smoothly. So allowing yourself to feel your emotions and having an outlet that’s just for you is essential.
For me, it’s that time I take working out. It serves three areas of my life that are essential to me. The first one is that I am honoring myself and giving my body, mind, and spirit what it needs. The second one is that the stress that I release is HUGE and I walk out feeling refreshed, relaxed, and empowered. I take all of the frustration out and I leave a better person even on the days I drag myself there. Lastly, the fact that I can rock a sexy pair of short shorts or skinny jeans is icing on the cake!
Next I spend a lot of time using empowering words in my life around my children and to my husband. Have you ever been around a woman that nags all the time that everyone in the room is uncomfortable at the way she is talking to either her children or her husband? We all have and they are like flashing signs that read “I am miserable and I want you to suffer too!”
Look, kindness is so important it goes back to the Golden Rule, doesn’t it? “Treat others how you want to be treated”—Women, men, and children don’t want to be nagged and mistreated and yet, it seems to happen all the time. If you feel this is something that you are struggling with, you need to ask yourself WHY? Being honest with your self is so important. Don’t push things under the rug that are bothering you because if you don’t work on them, they will destroy your life.
No one is perfect and we all have things we need to work on. It’s just part of life but that doesn’t mean that we can or should get away with mistreating each other especially our loved ones.
If you find that you are suffering from a form of depression that you just can’t seem to kick, you really need to look at the foods you are eating and ask yourself as to whether you are exercising enough, sleeping enough, or if you’ve been to the doctor lately to make sure you are staying on top of your annuals like blood work and cholesterol. All of these things, if they are off balance a little, can make you feel depressed. If you are on top of all these things and are still finding it hard to cope, then you need to take further action and seek the help of a professional.
As for our husbands, ladies, the fastest way for you to get what you need and want from your relationship is to take care of your man. Make time for one another. Many women think that were the ones that need emotional support but so do our husbands. They are soldiers for us and our families but they also need to be cared for. They crave affection and tender moments too. They need to flow with you and they absolutely need to have the “emotional connection” as well as a satisfying sex life with you!
Find ways to let him know that you appreciate what he does for you and the family, that he is sexy to you, and that you still feel like flirting. When you do these things, he will want to give you the world. Nothing makes your man happier than seeing you happy. They feel very responsible for our happiness and the truth is they are not. We are all responsible for our own happiness. Life is about eves and flows. We are not going to be perfect all the time but we can keep our minds focused on how we want to live each day and being a positive person will help you 100%.
Remember the little things like cooking his favorite meal after a long day. Keep track of football games or basketball games that he may want to go to and surprise him with tickets for him and a buddy. If you can’t afford that, consider inviting friends over for drinks and appetizers to watch a great game. You can let the kids watch TV in your room while enjoying a box of pizza.
Find ways to show him that you care. I love to throw a sexy photo into my husband’s overnight bag when he is traveling with a little note saying “after the kids go down make sure you call me.” Then that night you can go back and forth with some major phone flirting. Don’t talk about your problems. Save those for another night when he is away. Give him all the reasons in the world to rush home to you and the kids.
When you put out the effort you will reap the rewards in the same way that working out gets you the body and the clarity of mind you need. Taking care of him will in turn allow him to go above and beyond in taking care of you!
Create your plan today on what you can do to improve your life. Find the ways that can give you more family time and private time that he will love. I promise, this will allow your family to over flow with blessings.