Over the weekend my family and I had the opportunity to attend a wonderful charity block party in LA during the 9th annual Stuart House event put on each year by designer John Varvatos. This amazing charity helps children that have been sexually abused, and everyone came out to support this cause. As a parent I feel it’s so important to get involved in charity events with your kids when they are young so that they begin to understand the needs others have and realize that each of us can make a difference.
Now since my kids are only 4 they certainly don’t understand what this cause represents and what the issue of sexual abuse is all about, but it opens the door at least for me to discuss what’s “okay” and what’s “not okay” when it comes to people touching you. These are such serious issues that we are hearing all over the news from grade school to college. Children and teens need to know that they can come to us no matter what and tell us what’s going on without feeling shame and embarrassment.
I want my kids to know that I am here for them no matter what. They can tell me anything at any time! It was an amazing time for a great cause and the car ride back home provided an excellent time for the discussions that they need to know and be aware of!
Hi Ladies,
Well here we go the New Year is just around the corner and I want to give you the best advice I can for the New Year. Make the decision today that in 2012 you are no longer going to allow FEAR to rob you of what you want. Fear is a dream destroyer and can rob you of everything if you let it.
The best way to push through it is to simply face your fear whatever it may be. The moment you face it head on it all of a sudden has no power over you. You can say to yourself “I can do this,” “this is easy for me”. All of a sudden you will feel that that fear is gone it’s really that simple. In this New Year expect just a little more of yourself push yourself and decide that you are going to reach your goals.
Start writing down what you want in your life put it on paper and read it every day. Take five minutes to also write down what you are thankful for. By doing this you will start to attract more opportunities into your life. Being thankful is the key really to having it all.
Never stop believing in your dreams and remember when you are writing out your goals make sure to have a short term goal like over the next two months I am going to drop 12 lbs but this year I plan on dropping 25 and running a half marathon! Why not dream big go for it whatever that challenge may be for you just go for it. Never put limits on your thinking.
Be careful not to share your dreams with people that are what I like to call “dream killers” they are not interested in watching you reach your goals. Use your inner guide and be smart about who you share these things with. Also make sure that you are not crushing someone else’s dream by making comments like “you can’t do that”, or “that will never work”.
Be respectful and always be the voice of encouragement.
This Year watch your word they are more powerful then you realize. Start to listen to the things that you say. Really make this year 2012 your best year yet! Say each morning “today something wonderful is going to happen to me.” I have new opportunity’s coming to me every day. My body is healthy and strong and I am Happy! Speak these powerful words over yourself and bless others with the words that come out of your mouth.
I happen to know a young lady that from the outside you would think she had it all. Big house, money, and beautiful family she seems to have the life that most people would do anything for and she has a loving husband. I had a chance to witness this woman’s vile rage and just how incredibly miserable she really is and it was heart breaking. For some reason she can’t seem to find it in herself to be happy. You see it’s just like the old saying “money can’t buy you happiness or class” it’s so true. This is not to say that everyone with money is not happy because that’s simply not the case. What it means is that we all are responsible for our own peach of mind, happiness and fulfillment. You can’t look to anyone else for that it must come from inside of you. No matter what situation you are in always try to see that good and make wise decisions on how you can change or transform the negative. See your cup as half full instead of half empty.
This is your year for greatness go after it all with wild abandon and decide that no one or anything will hold you back or stop you from having the life that you have always dreamed of. Remember life is short and we only get one shot to make it great.
Have a blessed Holiday and be thinking of what you want as January rolls in.
I believe in you!
To your massive success in 2012
Tara Brooke
Hi Ladies,
Well just like you I am in the Christmas count down and trying to get all these last minute work obligations off my list so I can relax with my kids while they are on Winter break. Last night we made ginger bread houses and had so much fun! It is now one of my all-time favorite things to do with the kids. My husband cracked open a great bottle of wine, we had the fire on, the kids were sampling all of their favorite candies, how could the night go wrong?!
The festivities ran late into the night. I absolutely love this time of year! This year many of my family members and a few friends will be coming over for Christmas dinner and I am thrilled to be cooking for everyone! My husband is Ukraine and loves that type of food so it looks like a trip to the Russian Deli will be in my future this week to gather up some great ingredients.
I have such an excitement about the New Year! I can’t wait to hit the ground running in 2012, but until then I am planning on some much needed relaxation and possibly a mountain trip to the snow for a long weekend of Snowman building, snow ball fights and possibly skiing! I know we are all so busy running around but do take a moment for yourself and enjoy this Holiday Season with everyone you love.
Peace and Love,
Tara Brooke
Even my dog Willow is getting into the Christmas spirit!
If you are at all like me I love being able to shop for everyone else but sometimes I struggle when it comes to what I want. For the most part when it comes to the man in your life you usually need to spell it out! No offense guys, but really men just want to know what you want, where to go and what size or color you would like it in. They want get it right but need clear direction even if it means pulling the picture out of the magazine and putting it on his laptop with a not that says “Dear Santa I’ve been extra good this year thinking this would be amazing if you agree! My husband is really hard to shop for he is the man that has everything and wants nothing. He doesn’t want me to go out and spend a lot of money of his gift so I try to be more sentimental when I shop for him getting my kids involved and making it something to remember.
With my children I don’t like the idea of going completely over board with gifts. Don’t get me wrong they always have an amazing Christmas but I like to really get them thinking about others as well. Here are some of the things that I do to help get my children (4 year old boy girl twins) to understand the meaning of Christmas.
The first thing we do is go through all of our current toys my kids know that before new toys come into the house we do an inventory and gather the things that they have moved on from and are not playing with for our church. This is everything from clothes to toys and if they are broken then they are tossed out. We only give away good toys that another child can enjoy. Next we set aside money for new toys for these kids and we hit the toy store. The idea is that my children know that they are shopping for another little girl or boy and they are not going to be asking on this trip for toys for themselves but really thinking about that child getting something special on their Christmas morning that they normally wouldn’t be getting. This is such a great time to talk with them about how blessed we are and about being thankful.
It’s one thing to discuss it but anther to have them put it into action.
You would be amazed how fast they not only get the idea of giving but enjoy it and that of course is a gift that we all get to enjoy feeling good and helping others.
As for family it is a great idea especially during these difficult financial times that you create a budget and decide how much to spend on each other for gifts. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and it helps everyone feel good about what they are giving. If you find yourself in a situation where you have lost your job or times are just far to lean to even buy gifts don’t worry there are so many things that you can do. Maybe put together a dinner at your place where everyone brings there favorite dish and have each person leave with a delicious home make chocolate chip banana bread or homemade cookies showing that you care is what is important not how much you spend.
There are always going to be those people even members of your family that simply don’t get the meaning and if you don’t spend ex amount on them or their children they are going to be completely upset about it. Here’s the things WHO CARES if you have someone like this is your family then you know they will most likely have a problem with whatever you did the point being that its them with the issue not you!
When shopping for a co-working I like to go with something that I know they would love if you see that they are hitting Starbucks a few times a day then get them a fabulous coffee mug that fits their personality along with a gift card. I love gift cards but I also like to include a little something extra that lets them know “wow she really pays attention” and this makes them feel special. When it comes time to buy for my kids teachers at school I like to give gift cards for mani’s and pedi’s because I feel like they need some additional spa treatments and relaxation time these always seem to go over well. I also like to bake something for the class just before winter break special cookies that I bring in for everyone it always makes it an easier day for the teacher.
Another thing that I love to do is create DVD for family and friends of my family and all that we have been up to. I like to document each year and my mom and dad LOVE this more than anything else and it’s something that you can have forever. Make sure to make extra copies to save for your children and just file them away. There are so many ways to show people that you care about that they are special to you without have to spend a fortune most of the time the one thing people love most of all is your time so maybe take a girlfriend out for lunch and treat her as your gift spend quality time with her and listen to her share her story’s with you that day just be a good friend.
Most of all remember the true meaning yourself and just enjoy we are all racing through life and these are the times that we get time off to be with our loved ones and simply breath and relax so don’t get too caught up with all the hustle and bustle just enjoy!
My kids and I are starting early! I don’t know about you but at my house we like to have the holiday cheer start right away so here we are out to get our tree!
This month I will be focusing on Family because it doesn’t matter if you have a large family or if it’s just the two of you family is everything.
Tara
Hello ladies,
I have had lots of emails lately asking for advice on marriage so I thought I would put together my top 7 things that you can do in your marriage to spice it up and reconnect!
We are all so busy with life. If you are like me you have children and many of you are also working mom’s. (although aren’t we all working mom’s) Anyone that has a child can agree that it is one of the hardest jobs in the world so we all WORK!
Sometimes the men in our life seem to take the back seat because let’s be honest a child’s needs are great and if you have more than one then you experience on a daily basis the challenge of finding a balance. Now some people think that it’s impossible to find balance. I disagree. I think it’s hard to maintain it but you can reach it and once you do you will see that its worth obtaining as often as possible. Balance is kind of like your weight, you can reach your perfect goal weight but the key is maintaining it right? It’s the same thing with balancing your life. It’s a challenge to reach but worth it once you learn how to maintain it.
Okay so here is my list of 7 things that can keep your marriage on track. Now I am putting this in the order that I feel is most important, but as long as you are hitting this list the order doesn’t really matter all that much.
1.You have to find the time to have a great sex life with your husband. This is a deal breaker if you are not having sex. Not having sex or great sex can take a toll on your relationship. Men are visual and they are seeing beauty at every turn. It can be on the computer, TV, a radio, the gym… all these things create thoughts and it’s just the way it is. So as long if you are enjoying a healthy sex life together I can tell you when these thoughts he has creep up he will be thinking about you and how great of a partner you are. If you are not having a healthy sex life he is going to be thinking about the fact that he isn’t getting his needs met and chances are another image will fill his brain. This isn’t to say that he will act out on it, but wouldn’t you rather be the one he is day dreaming about?
2.Find time to work out for YOU. This will only make the first step that much easier because if you are feeling good about your body you will want to be showing it off to your man and you will have the increased energy that it takes to maintain a healthy sex life with your husband. This time in the gym or whatever you decide to do for a workout program is your time. If you are like me this time will be so rewarding to you because it will also help you sleep better at night and it will help to eliminate the stress that we all live with. You have to think of this as something you are giving to yourself as a gift because you deserve it, not a chore to have to do. Take lots of different classes and challenge yourself. See what you like best. There will be something you can love and gravitate towards. Don’t give up on this one.
3.Honesty and open communication. This is so important. You need to be open and tell him what is on your mind. There is a way to do it that will get you the best results. If you have issues don’t come at him in attack mode because now you have just signaled him to put on the gloves as well. If you need to discuss something that is bothering you wait until the time is right and set “the mood”. When you have put the kids to bed go open up a bottle of wine and bring him a glass. The idea is to relax and enjoy one another and simply say “do you mind if we talk about something that’s been bothering me”? The next thing to do before you get right into it is compliment him say something like “you have been making such an effort in this area (whatever that may be if nothing make something up LOL.) Then gently say what’s on your mind. The idea here is that you are not looking for a fight, you want a solution and men really do want us to be happy and when approached correctly you can usually get what you are looking for.
4.Social Media, today everything we do seems to now be online and it makes it really easy to get lines crossed. If you are on FB or any of the other social media outlets here is a word of caution directed at both you and your husband, set up boundaries within your relationship. Do not allow your past boyfriends or his past girls friends to be a part of your “friends” group. Really what’s the point? The fact that I am no longer with this person normally means that I don’t want them in my life. Also we have all seen the guys on FB that just go around collecting friend request from beautiful women. This is bad news all the way around. Most women that I know don’t want to see their husband getting friendly with these women. I think it sends the wrong message which is I am available and it can spell trouble. But ladies this works both ways be careful who you allow into your own group!
5.Date night and getaways! This is really important. There needs to be at least three nights a month minimum, I think it should be once a week but minimum three, that you go out on a date with your man. A great dinner and a movie or even a date out with close friends. You have to take time away from the everyday to go enjoy one another away from the kids! This will give you a reason to look extra Haute for him. Wear something sexy that makes you feel beautiful, believe me he will notice! Take time to look into each others eyes, flirt with him and LAUGH Laughter is so important to a healthy marriage and really if you have kids then you know there are always things that happen daily to make you laugh! Once in a while you should check into a great hotel nearby or a fabulous resort that’s nearby and just have alone time together. Get a couples massage hit the hot tub or the pool if the weather permits go out for an amazing dinner and take advantage of having the kids gone. ( If you know what I mean) Get some sexy lingerie to surprise him in. Make sure to pack your own favorite music and pack some candles that you love, create a sexy mood. Enjoy each other you would be amazed what one night away will do for reconnecting!
6.Find time to do something that you love that’s just for you. As people we need to be growing and learning new things and it’s hard to do when you have a full schedule. If you can carve out a little time for something that you LOVE then you will feel so much gratitude and satisfaction. I am not talking about working out. That is something for you but its also something you need to be doing as far as I am concerned, just like brushing your teeth. Its essential to your physical and emotional health. What I am saying is something that you have wanted to do but put off. For me it was writing my first book. That was a HUGE undertaking but I really wanted to do it. I found so much release and inner peace when I was able to write. It really was cathartic for me, very healing. The next thing that I am going to do is add on some cooking classes. This is something that I love to do and would like to learn more. I may even have my husband do this with me. But it can be anything that makes you smile.
7.Last but certainly not least find time to really have concentrated family time together. Make every effort to eat together at a set time each evening. If you can’t do this every night try for at least three nights a week where you all sit down together as a family. My husband and I love to cook together so we have our time cooking, share a glass of wine once in a awhile and then have a family dinner with our kids (who are only 4). Children need that time with mom and dad and so do we. Also going to church whatever you believe in is so wonderful. We love our church and our children get such a sense of love and faith. They really love going. These things bring the family unit closer and remind us of our “WHY’S. Also it doesn’t take spending a lot of money to enjoy the family. You don’t always need to be going to the movies or Disney Land. Just pack up a picnic and head for your favorite park. Bring a bag of bread to feed the birds and stay awhile enjoying your down time.
I want to encourage you to keep connected with your husband in every way you can. Remember people change, so you both will need to find ways to change together. Keep family goals and talk about the things that you want to do as a couple and a family. Put up a Family dream board and work towards whatever you put up there.
Enjoy each other, learn to let stuff role off your back, pick your battles and always count your blessing and be thankful. I learned that gratitude just continues to bring richness into your life.
Hello Girls,
Okay because many of my readers are just under 30 years old and turning 30 is just around the corner I had to write about this. Many of you are now looking right across the street at 30 when it used to be blocks away right? Well 30 is here baby and you can’t stop it so why not embrace it? Lighten up I promise as someone that already passed 30 it only gets BETTER!
Now let’s start with the most important things on your mind right now. If you are not married then getting married is HUGE for you. We all make mental notes as to when certain things in our life are going to happen we dream about these moments right?
Usually we have it completely worked out in our heads that by 30 we will be married enjoying our career while at the same time coming up with unique or matching first letter names of our future boy and girl bundles of joy that are on the way.
While I also had my list of to do’s by a certain age I want to make it perfectly clear to you that if you have not met these goals yet don’t despair it will happen for you.
The first thing to understand is that you don’t absolutely have to do anything at a certain age this is really pressure that we get from friends, parents of society. If it hasn’t happened yet it will!
If you are in a relationship that you feel in you gut is not going to lead to marriage and you are nearing 30 then you need to let that relationship go. Move on, I have watched so many women give up a decade on a relationship that they knew wasn’t going anywhere and at 40 when it ended they were pissed off and bitter.
Don’t let this be you. I always talk about being honest with “you” and I do this because it’s the most important part of staying true to yourself. I know that ending something that you are comfortable with isn’t easy but believe me it’s a Jagged little pill to swallow knowing that years are gone and you can’t get them back and what’s worse is that these years are by far the most precious to a women.
I have several close friends that allowed the wrong men to steal those years away now they are faced with the realization that they may never have the children that they dreamed of.
I am also not a believer in living together before you are married and I know its sound really old fashioned but you want a man to sweep you off your feet he should know by 1 year if you are the one and living together makes it too easy for years to go by without the commitment of marriage. Pretending to be married is still just “Pretending”. I can go on and on about that one but I want to stay focused on what this blog is about.
Next on your mind if starting a family and I know many of you want to be a “young Mom” I get it so did I. But here’s the thing we all know that women are taking better care of themselves today and having healthy baby’s a tad bit later in life. It’s not the end of the world. Instead of concentrating on the time decide to look at it from a different perspective. That new way of thinking sounds something like this. Well now that I am 30 I know who I am and I have much more confidence. I am ready to be a great wife I have worked out all the things that went wrong in previous relationships and I’ve owned up to those things and have changed. I am now ready to be a mother because I have a better understanding about the world and what I can contribute to it. You have to be your own cheer leader sometimes and decide that you turning 30 is going to be GREAT
That now you are ready to make all of your dreams come true. Once you start thinking like that then you will walk differently you will be happier people will notice that something is different a change of perspective can do so much!
With every age I hope to thrive and allow myself to grow and get better. I certainly am not going to put a date on myself that says after this age I am no longer valuable. I work hard daily to live in the moment, take care of myself and the ones that I love.
I don’t want to look back on my life and think well my 20’s were fun but after 30 it all went downhill. That sort of thinking is really for losers.
Be all you can be now and continue to love each moment you have. Count your blessings instead of you lines and laugh as often as possible. It really does heal.
I believe in my heart that there absolutely is someone out there for each of us and that every person on the earth is beautiful to someone. They say to the world you may be just another person but to a person you are their world. Start to believe that and you will see that things will come to you. Make sure that you are doing your part each day in honoring yourself taking care of your body, eating right and always try to see the cup as half full.
Write to me if you have any questions about this topic. I would love to hear from you.
Live your life to the fullest and happy birthday to all you ladies about to turn 30! My best years to date have been in my 30’s
To your success,
Tara Brooke
After watching the new installments of several of the Housewives (yes I am as guilty as the rest of you, I watch too) I wanted to write something about the pressure that comes at us when we are watching all these women lead these glamorous lives. Whichever show you love be it the housewives or the Kardashian’s there will never be a shortage of “STUFF” floating from scene to scene and of course that is the point. While I find it a lot of fun to see the casts handbags, shoes and fab houses, cars and well basically anything you can think of I am also aware of the pressure that this can cause women of all ages.
Now I will be the first to admit that I do spend money on these things and I do enjoy them, however they certainly do not define me. I would never go into debt trying to keep up with the latest fashions.
While there is no harm in enjoying shopping and wanting things it can be a slippery slope when you begin to spend money that you don’t have or when it takes over who you are. While I find these shows to be a guilty pleasure and a” time out” from the daily things I do, you can’t watch them and begin to not feel satisfied with your own life. As we all know many of these shows highlight the problems that people have and it becomes all too real that no one is free of personnel struggles and issues.
So as you watch keep in mind that no one lives a problem free life. Stay true to who you are and how you want to live. If you have big dreams and goals I say go for it. I am a firm believer that you can have it all but make sure while you are in the pursuit of it that you are happy along the way. Stay true to your unique talents and gifts. Enjoy watching and have fun but you don’t need to feel like your life is any less because you don’t own the latest Louis Vuitton bag and with that being said if you can afford to have the bag then make no apologies for it.
Own it, have fun but also keep in mind at the end of the day it’s still just a “Bag” and it doesn’t define you!
To your success,
Tara Brooke
